Searching for restoration, a look at the Psalms and Salvation

To say that the last year has been a stressful one would be putting it mildly this year has been a year that has shaken me to my core. With the loss of a mother and a father within the last year I have found myself gasping for air.
I have had so much advice, but little encouragement. so much advice and so little help. I have never felt more alone in my life then I do now. Alone to the point that it has caused me to search my heart for salvation.

I reflect on Psalm 51 and Romans 5:1-11
I have chosen to reflect on these passages as the first is a prayer for restoration, and the other speaks of the power of Christ in suffering.
I have been put in a place that I have never been, and honestly in a place that I hope I never find myself again.

My sin has never been made more evident to me, my inadequacy made more plain. So I start by repenting, I have not trusted God as I should have. I have not loved Him as I should have. At times I have blamed Him for my sadness. If I where to redo anything would I chose to take my mom from glory only for her to suffer? Would I change things so that my dad would have stayed longer to help me in my selfishness? They are realizing their salvation and who am I a weak incapable man to be sad because of it.

So I ask God to "restore unto me the joy of my salvation," may I hope for it as much as my parents have realized it. May I long to share my joy with those who know no such joy.

In a search for the reason for my affliction I have found the answer in Romans 5:1-11

In this passage we are told since we have been saved "therefore rejoice in our afflictions. because our afflictions lead to endurance, endurance leads to proven character and proven character to hope."

Hope in what? Hope in Christ, our afflictions lead us back to Christ and is salvation. How can we rejoice? Salvation. This is how we can look at where we are no matter how bad and when we look at it though the eyes of our salvation it cannot compare.

When we see that Christ has seen fit to redeem us we can do nothing but rejoice. This is why Paul can make the claim that "all things work for the good of those who love the Lord" Rom 8:28, because even those "bad" things when God applies the fullness of his glory to them they can do nothing but work for us by the power of God.

May God bless my readers and may this post provide encouragement to you, for some of you I know are wearyand in need as I am weary and in need. May we find our needs met in Christ and may we draw closer in relationship through Christ.